Freedom to have Boundaries

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CHAPTER 9 OF FREEDOM 25

“Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? 

Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and wrapped it in thick darkness? For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores.”

‭‭~ Job‬ ‭38‬:‭4‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

In the beginning of time as recorded in the book of Genesis in the Bible, we see that God set boundaries in place for almost everything He created- the light, darkness, sky, earth etc. and in the above scripture, He is telling us more about it. He lets us know the earth is healthy and functional today because He didn’t just create, He also instilled boundaries. 

For a moment, imagine there were no boundaries for darkness, so you wake up one day at 8AM and the whole environment is still dark like it’s 2AM. Also, think about what life would be if light didn’t have boundaries, so at 2 AM, you still see day-light like it’s noon. And what about the oceans? If there were no boundaries, one day you could head out of your home, and see different colors of water on the streets up to your knee!

What sort of life will that be? What sort of earth will that be? Would you be able to live in something that unstable? Boundaries are a major requirement for stability and longevity. Now, look at your life, examine every area and aspect, can you say you are stable? Do you have boundaries? 

Proverbs 25:28 – NRSV  says, “Like a city broken down and without walls, so is a man whose spirit is without restraint.”
I remember reading this scripture and thinking, ‘wow!’ Imagine the access to attack and damage, simply because there are no boundaries, internally and externally. 

My own Journey:

In probably my second or third session with my darling therapist last year (she’s now in heaven), after I had shared a certain turn of events to her, honestly expecting to hear how at fault I was, she said something so profound (after taking me through a couple of Bible characters and asking me who among them would tolerate what I allowed, lol).

“Goodness, you are suffering from lack of boundaries!” 

It took me a while to get it, I don’t think I even got it till this year, it was something I knew but something I didn’t fully get and until you really get something, you can’t utilize it. Now, I get it and once I did. I was ready. I don’t even have a written note of all my boundaries, but I have them mentally, they are so ingrained in my heart now that it’s impossible to forget. 

Boundaries start with values, you set your boundaries according to your values. When God was creating the earth, He knew He wanted a safe place for humanity, so He set proper boundaries to ensure that, He also wanted humanity to be guided by those boundaries. The night tells you. “It’s time to rest!” The day tells you, “Get up and work.” 

God knew what He wanted for humanity and He structured the earth to fulfill it.

Living out your Boundaries:

In my personal life, my work ethic, my goals and dreams, I have boundaries. I have boundaries with myself, work and goals. I am a hardworking visionary, I don’t play with my aspirations. I have written these series in the midst of a lot till now because of boundaries, my boundaries require I keep my word to Jesus, myself and to others. One of the most disgusting traits anyone can have is not keeping their word, each time I encounter people with this flaw, it takes a lot from me to be like Jesus, because it’s really bad!

I don’t let my goals wander and dream aimlessly, I don’t give up easily too, I am resilient and consistent. In my relationship with Jesus, I seek Him till I get answers, my boundary requires that I put my hope in no one else but the Lord, so it’s Him or Him, best believe I would wait and pray and cry as long as it takes till I receive my answers and see them manifest.

The first place to set boundaries is in your personal life and I have always had this, however the following ones are what I had to really learn & execute this year.


One of the areas where my values are written down is friendships. I learned the hard way to have values for the kind of friendships I want, I have 4 core values in that area. At some point this year, I had someone come into my life who wanted to be friends with me, and vice versa. However, after (maybe) a month, I observed she didn’t meet one of my core values and after proper conversation, it was obvious she wasn’t willing to. That was the end, (we still relate & I love her as an acquaintance).

I am not sorry about that. It’s my value, it’s my boundary. I asked God if I was being too harsh, He reminded me that it’s okay to stick to my values. In the long run, I don’t want a relationship that brings pain instead of joy. I have let go of friendships that don’t meet my core values and I accept only friendships that do. 

Same with my team. As a Leader, if I don’t stick to my values and boundaries, I won’t have a functional team. So, if it comes to my ears or I notice someone crossing a boundary, I observe and address it, and if there is no change, the management kindly relieves them.

In my relationship with Jesus and my divine assignments, I have boundaries, my highest boundary is obedience to God. I do only what He says. If He doesn’t permit me, I won’t do it and where He leads me, I will follow. FREEDOM 25 is happening because He led me, I didn’t want to do this at some point but I am so grateful, I chose obedience. People can say stuff about my life and what I am doing, I don’t care, as long as He is pleased. As long as I am following Him. I am living the life I always wanted to live, free and full because I am obeying my Father. 

He is sending people to see, encourage and support me because I stayed when no one seemed to understand me. I have followed and I am following through thick and thin.

I also have boundaries in how I let people into my life and open up to them. People have to earn their place in my life and so do I. In how I speak to people and let them speak to me? Boundaries, how I treat others feelings and my own feelings, boundaries. You can cross my boundary the 1st & 2nd time, but best believe that there won’t be a 3rd time. 

I have learned that boundaries are a requirement for stability because they bring peace. Why do you want to spend your nights and days in worry, pain, confusion and heartbreak for something that a boundary would have avoided? Yes, there are times you would be led by God’s Spirit to allow people overstep for the sake of Jesus, but not every time. 

Your life shouldn't be full of people & situations overstepping, chaos and pain simply because you don't enforce your boundaries!

Evolve Boldly & Shamelessly!

Don’t be ashamed to instill boundaries at any point in your life, just communicate it in love and respect. I was speaking to an entrepreneur early this year and he told me how his customers, mostly friends, do not pay him or delay payments for long. I taught him to set up a rate card for his services, he said he couldn’t execute this change because people were already used to that old version of him.

Lol. That’s funny, because people already know what they are doing and when you change, you would be shocked at how they align. When I started to enforce my boundaries, I was ready to lose anyone & anything, I didn’t mind. I very intentionally lost a few (unlike I expected, because as I mentioned above people and stuff do align), and I don’t regret it. Not everyone and everything is for me, it doesn’t mean they are bad, it just means we don’t align and that’s okay. 

Don’t shrink a new version of you because people are already used to the old version. There was a time in my life where I was turned off by people changing, now I have learned that it’s a consistent upgrade, I don’t expect my friends to always be the same, the core values remain but change happens, they evolve and I make room for that. I accept their boundaries, it might hurt me but I say okay and don’t cross it. 

I don’t even cross the boundaries of my younger siblings, there are times I give an instruction and it’s not followed, I don’t mind because I see their reason and I have no right to suppress them. I demand mutual respect, if I talk down on my little brother or younger sisters, I apologize. I honor everyone because I honor myself.

Final one I will share here is: I have boundaries in my love walk. I must walk in love, I must forgive, I must not gossip or slander, I must not talk down on anyone. No matter what they do to me. I must not quarrel, I must not carry grudges, I must pray for those who hurt me, I must bless them that pierce and curse me. It is a must. I must treat people in love as God’s image, not the way they treat me. I don’t close deals and relationships in a hurtful way, it’s done in love. 

Everything I do, I do in love and if I flop, I own up in apology and true repentance before God first and the humans involved. Love is a command by the God I have come to love so much, therefore I always love. That’s all I owe everyone – Love and Intercession. I do this daily as He helps me.

Freedom25 is so connected. 
Reading from Chapter 1 till now is when it would really make sense to you. 
I advise you to do that.

We have the final chapter out on Saturday! It’s been a long ride of delivering truth twice a week, tasky but worth it.

I hope it changed your life!
Your comments would be appreciated and see you for the last chapter, ‘Freedom to Live your life and enjoy it’ soon!

Like a city that is broken down and without walls is a man whose spirit is without restraint.

Proverbs 25:28 – NRSV

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