The power in Union

76 Comments / Journey His Heart / By

a memoir

BE

I am having this epiphany that is transforming my life:

Its the power in being. God, our Father wants us to be. More than anything, our lives is about ‘just being’ and if we spend more time focused on that, we are divinely empowered to do. This is easier said than done, especially since we have flaws and we live in a broken world constantly pressuring us, we get overwhelmed by our flaws forgetting that Jesus died for our sins. There is a track record of a number of people who broke out of addictions and even for me who has experienced healing from overwhelming traumas, it all happens when we take our eyes off ourselves, how bad + dirty we think we are because of that and how we desparately want to get out, when we take our eyes off that and place them on our heavenly Daddy, we find the most joyful freedom.

I have seen this play out over and over in my life; when I was overwhelmed with my inadequacies and people even mistreated me because of it. However, when I took my eyes off the unworthiness and the shame, over a period of time, I saw myself walking in wisdom I didn’t ask for and I wondered why I was so hard and quick to condemn myself.

We must cultivate our relationship with Jesus, our groom and this sacred relationship cannot be built on doing! It will scatter, we cannot be with Him with the constant plaguing mindset of how we should do better, do this or that. It will scatter and isn’t it why it does? When we fall, we think we failed Him, we wallow in guilt and sorrow, finding it hard to return, but in its essence, our relationship with Him should be our safe-space. We have a spiritual yet natural garden within us where we meet with Him- but we spend so much time absorbing on ourselves and this world than our garden with the Lord so we think He is against us too and He is judging us like we do ourselves and those around us.

Meanwhile, He tells us to abide, just abide and in pure abiding, we yield abundant lasting fruit. (John 15)

ACCEPTANCE

We are after perfection by the flesh, so we try to control the narrative. The very thing He came to die for, we let it come between us and Him. We forget that our calling with Him is a marriage and no matter what happens, we need to come home looking at our spouse as a partner not an opponent. As a part and an extension of us not a separate piece. That’s why I was so inspired by Prince Harry and Megan’s Netflix Documentary, they showed me what it means to be and do life as a union, despite the increasing challenges and sorrows, they looked at each other as a part of themselves, and the truth is: many times, we cast blames on our partners and view them as opponents because that’s how we view ourselves. Because we are so hard and judgmental to ourselves, we think our partners are. We think Jesus is.

It really starts with us.

We struggle in our Christian walk because we’ve not understood that relationship with Jesus is our safe space, that our Lord is always for us and when we focus on cultivating our garden within, establishing a safe space with the Lord, we experience true joy in trials and miracles in dry places. We see His power in places we least expected. We see His love fighting for us. He calls us to this place of rest and relationship within. A major flesh battle we would fight is acceptance. Nothing added. Accepting what Daddy has done and that we have nothing to add. His work is perfect and His Ruach (Holy Spirit) is not seeking our help either. Lol.

Rather, They are seeking an intimate relationship birthed from acceptance that produces submission and through that we become vessels of Their power and glory. We don’t try to be vessels, we submit and let them do Their work even when it throws our life out of balance and common sense, we stay and let Them do Their thing. So when the power flows, it’s not from of our flawed works, but our divine union that was purified through suffering and fire. The union is our focus.

The Son radiates God’s own glory and expresses the very character of God, and he sustains everything by the mighty power of his command. 
When he had cleansed us from our sins, he sat down in the place of honor at the right hand of the majestic God in heaven.
~ Hebrews 1:3

I have always been fascinated by the scripture above and how it reveals Jesus. This Jesus, our groom and eternal husband is so God and He holds the earth by the power of His command, it’s fascinating, I look at the sky and think how it can’t fall to the earth because Jesus holds it together by His command, the seas don’t overstep their boundaries because Jesus holds it together, my legs can’t pull out of their sockets because Jesus holds my entire body, inside and outside in His order by the power of His command!

Our groom is God. He is Lord. He is the all seeing, all knowing, almighty God and He dwells within us and from within us, He calls us to sacred fellowship. He calls us to breaking of bread and sharing of wine, He calls us to an intimacy that can only be experienced when through the Word, we look within. He formed us in our mothers womb and before then, He saw us, knew us and loved us. So, when we bring all our complains and sorrows, He is staring in love and wonder at these beautiful creatures. At these beautiful awesome products of His.

You are caught up with your flaws and sin but He is caught up with your beauty and perfection through His eyes. May we see like He sees.

When you believe and accept Him for who He says He is and see yourself as perfect in Him, it’s only a matter of time until your life and surroundings align to His living truth. Acceptance and Communion. We don’t earn communion, we become in communion.

AUTHENTICITY

For someone who has gone through trauma and gotten to a space where she felt she might never heal and this will be her life, I tend to desire and execute control of my life’s narrative; even when it meant denial, more trauma, pretense, sabotage and shame. I refused to be bold about my story for a variety of reasons.

I want to be powerful, so I thought I should discard the vulnerable, shameful and uncertain parts, in this I missed it again. The Bible tells us that Jesus clearly chooses the foolish things of this world, His power is made manifest in our weakness and we are not and cannot be sufficient in ourselves except in Him.

Our stories hold weight and are power conductors for Him. I remember making getting out of my pain my focus, I just wanted it all to be over and never go back to it, Daddy reminded me that He is not in the business of wasting anything, neither did He let me His daughter suffer unto nothing, He reminded that there is a calling attached to my suffering.

I argued that it had been long standing and it was too shameful, as long as I did that I didn’t completely heal. Imagine a healer saying she wants to throw away brokenness? What then qualifies and sharpens her for that assignment? But that was me. Sometimes, we are ashamed of our story because it is not palatable to our flesh and the flesh of others, but God says there is power in that story you seek to hide. (Revelation 12:11).

When you realize that your life and experiences aren’t random or coincidence, you start offering all of yourself- good and bad for His glorious use. You stop trying to control the narrative of how He should use you neither do you compare to what you have seen. You look at His Word instead and what would that Word be if Paul, Joseph, David, Ruth, Tamar and so much more discarded their stories? 

What would the Bible be if we didn’t see a Moses who learned to lead almost a million people by tending sheep. I imagine that his sheep were probably stubborn, lol. Maybe he did look at other shepherds sheep and think these ones are obedient, why is mine crazy? What am I doing wrong? And God somewhere in heaven was thinking, “Oh Moses, you are yet to meet the crazy ones! For now, be thankful and learn with these kind ones.”

How does it align that through a flawed emotional reaction of murder, God would lead a man into His divine eternal purpose? While Paul gloried in helping Stephen’s killers keep their clothes, heaven was setting him up. But… here we are wanting to discard our stories and parts of us that don’t make sense, we forget that when brought to the Lord, everything becomes a useful offering. How dare we even think we can control our lives? We know little yet we want to make all the decisions.

In our garden of fellowship with the Lord, He picks from any part of us and decides what He wants to do with it anytime He wants and our job is obedience. And many times He gives from Himself, He wants Him and us in a collective partnership. A divine union. All of me is His and all of Him is mine. Like He never stops you from using His name, you never get to stop Him from using yours.

As He wills. 
As He pleases.
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