the gap is in your agreement

“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”                                              
~ Amos‬ ‭3‬:‭3‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Early this year, I found myself in a constant internal conflict, much of which was fueled by the internal factor of fear and other external factors: what God was saying to me didn’t align with what some important people in my life were telling me, and the tangible outcomes of my life didn’t seem to make sense either. I felt trapped in a web of depression.

To give you some context and help you understand, I would have to share a bit of my journey:

I began speaking in 2021 and officially stepped into ministry in April 2022 with the launch of my women’s community and movement, Girls in the Woods. At that time, I felt content. I was teaching and pastoring women, guiding them in God’s love and healing, and creating a safe space where they could grow without the burden of negative criticism, amongst other expressions. For me, that was more than enough.

But there was still this deep, unshakable cry within me. I could feel the restlessness, the stirring inside. I started seeking the Lord about it, and He revealed that He had called me to be His Prophet. It was immense, but despite the confirmations and spiritual gifts that were clearly present in my life, I didn’t give it the attention it deserved.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want it—on the contrary, I wanted it deeply. I loved the call, and the revelation brought me peace. I even accepted it at some point, but… I didn’t really take any steps toward it because of fear.

By 2023, life became a whirlwind of work, ministry, and trials. Yet, what I fondly refer to as my “spiritual baby”—the deep inner calling and nudge for something more—continued to cry out. Despite my busy schedule, I couldn’t escape the restlessness, mild insomnia, and heaviness that accompanied the stirring within me. I often found myself asking God, “What more do you want from me? I’m already so consumed with ministry, work and self-development. What more could there be?”

But still, that void remained. I tried to fill it with godly activities, like watching sermons, but didn’t find real satisfaction and after a while, I became accustomed to this emptiness. Then, God sent a remarkable woman with a prophetic gift into my life, it wasn’t just her gift that impacted me, but her journey to saying “yes” and the fruit that came from it. We had a “Mary and Elizabeth” connection, and even now, when I think of her, I feel that same kick and stirring in my heart.

I tried to surrender, but I didn’t know how. Looking back, I realize I was relying more on works than on grace. 
God wasn't calling me to do more; He was calling me to be more.

I started this year faced with fears, doubts, uncertainty and criticisms from both within and outside. People told me, directly and indirectly, that I wasn’t qualified, that I wasn’t ready, that I didn’t have what it took. Their words echoed in my mind, especially when the outcomes in my life seemed to agree with them. I didn’t see the results I wanted in various areas, and it made me question myself, making their opinions seem true.

But each time I spent in the Presence of Ruach (Daddy’s Holy Spirit), He kept telling me the same thing.

During our first Bible study in January, He taught and called me into being a prophetic watchman for my generation. We journeyed through scriptures together, and it was an amazing experience. The first promise He gave me for the year—and many others that followed—centered around our intimacy, being His Prophet, and Pastoring. This brought me so much joy, but once I stepped out into the world, I was confronted with painful circumstances that made me doubt if I was even hearing God correctly.

I began to seek release more intensely, asking God if I could use my gifts and creativity in ways beyond ministry, my prayers sometimes turned into complaints. The more I did this, the more I became vulnerable to insecurities, feelings of unworthiness, shame, and the opinions of others.

In February, I went on a three-day fast. I didn’t have a specific reason in mind; I just followed Daddy’s instruction. As a matter of fact, I was just out of depression and rediscovering God, enjoying His Fatherhood, and deepening my intimacy with Him, and I felt content. On the third day, God asked me why I hadn’t sought His purpose for the fast, I apologized, and He led me to scriptures, clearly outlining my specific assignments as His Prophet in this season.

I couldn’t help but laugh and have some imposter feelings. It was funny because people around me were saying something different, my life’s outcomes seemed to align with their opinions, and yet, here was God, still sticking to His Word from two years ago. It was almost comical—”Don’t you see, Lord?”— but our God is a rock.

I received His Word and began nightly prayers as He instructed. Slowly, I began to surrender. My women’s movement had resumed for the year with clear directions, and I kept moving forward. However, I was still clouded with doubt, pain, and questions, so I couldn’t embrace His calling fully—I was just going through the motions.

but that kind of half-hearted effort doesn’t work with God. Jesus wants our hearts fully committed to Him and His cause. If our hearts aren’t in it, to Him, nothing is really happening.

As life became more intense, I found myself wondering if I needed to just shut everything down and focus on “building capacity,” as people often say. Deep down, though, I knew better.

In April, on a Sunday, I was in church. As my pastor was preaching, I received an email from someone whose newsletter I had been trying to unsubscribe from, but no matter what I did, I kept getting her emails. Reluctantly, I opened it. She wrote about the burdens the Lord gives us and how He equips us to fulfill them, no matter how daunting they seem and as she progressed, she asked, “Goodie, what are the burdens God has given you?”

I couldn’t answer. The realization hit me hard—I was at a point in my life where I couldn’t even identify the burdens that Jesus, my precious Lord and Bridegroom had given me. I felt something break within me. I closed the email and refocused on the sermon.

After I got home, I couldn’t nap. I felt restless and in that moment, I turned to the Holy Spirit and asked, “Ruach, what do I do? People are saying things about me; telling me I’m not ready, that I don’t have the capacity, even one of my spiritual mothers. I am also afraid and I don’t even have much of an audience. Maybe they’re right, because You keep telling me these things, but I’m not seeing them manifest. I’m just here…”

He smiled at me and replied, “When I keep saying something to you and it isn’t your reality, it’s not for you to submit to what you feel or what people say. Instead, return to Me and ask what the gap is between My Word and your reality.”

I responded thoughtfully, “Okay, Ruach, do You mind telling me what the gap is for me?”

“Agreement. The gap is in your agreement.”

“Huh…” That was something I had never really considered before.

“You haven’t yet agreed. When you agree with My Word, you start living like it, and it manifests. You don’t wait for a manifestation; you live as if it has already manifested, and then you see it happen.”

I always ask the Lord for scriptures to confirm His words to me, and this time, He led me to Amos 3:3 and Hebrews 11. Then I asked what to do next, and He instructed me to go on a fast. I immediately got up, went to my desk, and started studying the Bible, spending time with Him.

During the fast the next day, God brought it up and confirmed it again—Prophet. Jeremiah 1:5. It was the missing link, all the restlessness, everything I was worrying about would start here and until I said Yes to this, I wasn’t going to make any headway. This time, I accepted it, not in compulsion but in love and desire. I fell to my knees, opened my arms, and received this mantle. I prayed, I cried, and I surrendered. And that’s when the joyful journey truly began—through worship, study, prayer, listening, faith and action.

Things have started falling into place, but note that it wasn’t immediate and I need to let you know that it didn’t begin to fall in place based on my actions but when I came into rest (surrendering everything and abiding intimately with Him). God never calls us out of rest, He calls us more into rest and from rest, we perform- that’s a blog for another day.

I’ll stop here, even though there’s so much more I could say, I Know I’ve delivered the message that needs to be shared.

For someone reading this, the gap might be in your agreement.
You may have agreed more with your fears, circumstances, insecurities, and the opinions of others than with God, He will not force you to agree with Him.

I don’t know what He has been telling you or what has been stirring in your soul. It might not make sense. You might not see the fruit of it yet. You might not even look the part. But you are not God.
Get into a place of worship, immerse yourself in His Word, and pray.
Agree with Jesus today.

Ruach led me to record a video session to help you recognize the shifts and take actionable steps to identify what God is calling you to. It’s not always something big—sometimes it’s something small, like rest. Recently, for me, that’s exactly what it’s been—rest.

The session below is serene, healing and restful, as you rest in it, you would find peace and clarity.

_{“He that believeth on Me, as the scripture hath said, ‘out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.'”}

_{~ Jesus
John‬ ‭7‬:‭38‬ ‭KJV‬‬, King James Version of the Holy Bible}